Healing Isn't Linear—It's Spiralic: Why the Same Wound Keeps Coming Back
If you've ever done deep healing work and then found yourself face-to-face with the same wound you thought you'd already processed, you know the particular kind of despair that comes with it.
I thought I was past this. Why is this coming up again? Did any of that work even matter?
I've been there. Many times.
In my own healing journey, I've revisited the same wound more times than I can count. The same younger part. A four-year-old girl on the stairs. The same moment in time. The same emotional landscape.
For years, I interpreted that as failure. As stagnation. As evidence that something fundamental wasn't working.
What I understand now, both through my own process and through hundreds of hours sitting with clients in the same spiral, is that I had it backwards.
I wasn't revisiting because I was stuck. I was returning because my system finally had more capacity to be with it than before.
The Myth of Linear Healing
We've been sold a version of healing that looks like a straight line. You identify the wound, you process it, you integrate it, you move on. Check the box. Next.
But that's not how the nervous system works. And it's not how trauma works.
Healing doesn't move in straight lines. It moves in spirals.
You'll meet the same wound more than once. Not because you failed to heal it the first time, but because healing happens in layers, not checklists.
The first time you met that wound, you might have just survived it. The second time, you started to understand it. The third time, you might actually be able to feel it.
Each pass through the spiral, you bring more capacity. More safety in your body. More access to what younger parts of you actually needed.
What Healing Actually Does
Here's the reframe that changed everything for me:
Healing doesn't erase the past. It expands your ability to relate to it.
Each time an old wound resurfaces, you're meeting it with a different nervous system. A different level of self-trust. A deeper internal support structure.
You're not the same person who met that wound the first time. You have more tools, more awareness, more capacity to stay present instead of dissociating, overriding, or abandoning yourself.
The wound might look the same. But you are different.
The Spiral Means You're Ready
Here's what I've learned, personally and professionally:
When the same wound resurfaces, it's not because you didn't heal it properly the first time. It's because there's more there. More that younger part of you wants you to know. More she's ready to show you now that she trusts you a little more.
That four-year-old on the stairs? The first time I met her, I could barely look at her. I was too activated, too flooded, too far from Self to be any real comfort.
The second time, I could sit with her a little longer. I started to understand what she was holding.
The third time, I could actually feel what she felt without abandoning myself in the process.
Each return, I came with fresh eyes. Not because I'd forgotten her, but because I had more capacity to see what I couldn't see before. She showed me layers I wasn't ready for the first time around. Details I wouldn't have been able to hold.
This is what the spiral offers: not repetition, but revelation.
Each time you return to a wound, you're not going backwards. You're being invited into a deeper layer of the same story. One that was previously inaccessible, not because you weren't trying hard enough, but because your system was protecting you from what it knew you couldn't yet hold.
The spiral is your psyche's way of saying: You're ready now. There's more here. Let me show you.
Recurrence Is Not Regression
This is something I say to clients constantly: recurrence is not regression. It's usually a sign of readiness.
Readiness to feel what couldn't be felt before. Readiness to integrate what was once too much. Readiness to stay present with yourself in a way that wasn't possible earlier.
The spiral isn't taking you backwards. It's how healing accesses deeper layers of the same story.
Each return brings something different. Wider emotional range. Deeper access to what was previously unreachable.
When an old wound resurfaces, it's not proof that you're broken or that nothing has worked. It's often proof that you've built enough internal safety to go back.
What This Looks Like in Practice
In my work with clients, we use Internal Family Systems (IFS) and somatic approaches to work with the parts that show up in these spirals.
Because here's the thing: when a wound resurfaces, it's usually because a part of you is ready to be met differently. A younger part who's been waiting. A protector who's been working overtime. An exile who's finally safe enough to emerge.
The goal isn't to "fix" these parts or make them go away. It's to build a relationship with them, from Self, so they don't have to carry the weight alone anymore.
That's the work. Not linear. Not a checklist. A spiral that keeps offering you deeper access to yourself.
If Something Old Is Knocking Right Now
If you're in one of those moments where an old pattern, an old wound, an old version of yourself is demanding your attention, I want you to know:
You're not behind. You're not broken. You're not doing it wrong.
You're finally resourced enough to go where you couldn't before.
The spiral isn't punishment. It's an invitation.
If you're ready to work with your parts instead of against them, to stop abandoning yourself every time something hard surfaces, I work with clients 1:1 using IFS-informed, somatic, and sovereignty-based approaches. Schedule a free discovery call