SOMETHING I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT
The ambitious people who feel empty inside
By Bethany Russell, MA, LPC
I've been thinking about this pattern I keep seeing with my clients.
They've built incredible things. Successful businesses, impressive careers, the kind of life that looks amazing from the outside. And they come to me saying some version of the same thing:
"I should be happy. I have everything I thought I wanted. But I feel... empty."
The part that gets me is how guilty they feel about it. Like they're ungrateful or broken for not feeling fulfilled by their success.
But here's what I've learned: achievement doesn't automatically heal your inner world.
THE THING ABOUT AMBITIOUS PEOPLE
You're used to solving problems through strategy and action. Revenue declining? Pivot. Team conflict? Address it. Market not responding? Optimize.
But when your nervous system gets hijacked by the part that learned love was conditional on performance, your business skills don't help.
When your people-pleasing part is running your leadership decisions, you end up burnt out from saying yes to everything. When your perfectionist part is driving, you're paralyzed by analysis instead of taking action.
I see this all the time. Smart, capable people who can navigate complex business challenges but feel completely lost when it comes to their internal world.
WHAT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You think you're making decisions from logic and strategy. But so much of what drives ambitious people comes from parts that are trying to prove something, avoid something, or fix something from way back.
The part that's still trying to get your parents' approval.
The part that's terrified if you slow down, everything will crumble.
The part that believes your worth equals your output.
These parts aren't bad. They probably got you where you are. But they're also exhausting you.
SOMETHING I'VE NOTICED
The clients I work with who experience the biggest shifts aren't the ones who learn better coping strategies or optimize their routines. They're the ones who start to understand which parts of them are actually running the show.
Like the CEO who realized her workaholic part was the same part that learned at age seven that being busy meant being important.
Or the entrepreneur who discovered his perfectionist part was terrified of being seen as the "dumb kid" from his childhood.
When you can see these parts clearly, you can choose whether they're driving or you are.
THE DIFFERENCE
When your authentic Self is leading instead of your wounded parts, things change.
Decisions come from clarity instead of reactivity. You set boundaries that feel natural. You take risks from confidence rather than desperation.
Your success starts to feel satisfying instead of terrifying.
WHY I'M SHARING THIS
If you're reading this and thinking "fuck, that's me"—you're not broken. You're not ungrateful.
You're just building from wounded parts instead of your authentic Self.
I work with people like this through IFS therapy and coaching—helping ambitious souls understand which parts are hijacking their lives and reconnect with who they actually are underneath all the achieving.
It's not about slowing down or dreaming smaller. It's about building from your authentic power instead of your wounds.
Most of my clients do this work online since they're busy, travel, or just prefer not sitting in some office talking about feelings while thinking about their next meeting.
If this is landing in your bones, maybe we should talk.
Because you didn't work this hard to stay small in your personal life.
I'm Bethany Russell, licensed in Colorado, California, and Texas, working with ambitious souls virtually worldwide who are ready to stop being hijacked by old patterns. If you're curious about IFS therapy or this approach, reach out.