IFS Therapy for Trauma: Why Parts Work Changes Everything
And why your trauma responses aren't character flaws—they're protective parts trying to keep you safe
By Bethany Russell, MA, LPC
There are two versions of you.
There's the you that knows you're safe, worthy, and capable of healthy relationships. This version is calm, grounded, and wise.
Then there's the you that panics when your partner doesn't text back, abandons yourself to keep others happy, or shuts down the moment conflict arises.
Traditional therapy treats both versions like they're the same person. IFS knows better.
What Most Trauma Therapy Gets Wrong
Traditional trauma therapy treats you like you're one person with one set of reactions. You're "anxious" or "depressed" or "triggered." You have "issues with trust" or "abandonment wounds."
But here's the thing—you're not one person. You're a whole internal family of parts, each with their own job, their own story, and their own way of trying to protect you.
That anxious part that spirals at 2am? It's not your personality—it's a part that learned hypervigilance was the only way to stay safe.
That people-pleasing part that says yes when you mean no? It's not weakness—it's a part that discovered keeping others happy was survival.
That shut-down part that goes numb when conflict arises? It's not emotional unavailability—it's a part that learned disappearing was better than being hurt.
These aren't character flaws. They're parts of you that stepped up when you needed them most.
What Is IFS Therapy, Really?
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapeutic approach that recognizes we all have different parts within us, and underneath all those parts is your authentic Self—your calm, curious, compassionate center.
Think about it this way: You probably act differently with your partner than you do with your boss. You might feel like a different person when you're with your family versus when you're with your closest friends. That's because different parts of you show up in different situations.
IFS trauma therapy helps you:
Identify which parts are running the show when you're triggered
Understand what each part is trying to protect you from
Help your Self lead instead of your wounded parts
Heal the younger parts that are still carrying old wounds
The goal isn't to get rid of your parts—it's to help your Self be in relationship with them, so they don't have to work so hard to protect you.
How Trauma Creates Parts (And Why This Matters)
When you experience trauma—whether it's childhood abuse, religious trauma, narcissistic abuse, or any other form of harm—parts of you step up to help you survive.
Protector parts develop strategies to keep you safe: becoming perfect, people-pleasing, staying hypervigilant, avoiding conflict, controlling everything.
Exile parts carry the pain, fear, and vulnerability that was too much to feel at the time. These parts often get pushed down or locked away because feeling them was too dangerous.
Firefighter parts show up when the pain breaks through anyway - acting out, numbing, raging, or doing whatever it takes to make the feelings (typically an Exile) stop.
Here's what I see in my practice: people come to me thinking they're "broken" because they can't stop these reactions. But their parts aren't broken—they're just doing jobs they took on when you were younger, smaller, and more vulnerable.
The problem isn't your parts. The problem is they're still working from old information.
Your people-pleasing part doesn't know you're an adult now who can handle someone being upset. Your hypervigilant part doesn't know you're safe in your current relationship. Your shut-down part doesn't know conflict doesn't always mean someone's leaving.
What IFS Trauma Healing Actually Looks Like
In my work with trauma survivors, I blend IFS with nervous system regulation, ritual practices, and spiritual integration. Because trauma healing isn't just about understanding your parts—it's about helping your whole system feel safe again.
Here's what a typical IFS trauma session might include:
Getting to know your parts. We'll identify which parts are activated and what they're trying to protect you from. I might ask, "What part of you is feeling this right now?" or "How old does this part feel?"
Listening to their stories. Every part has a reason for what it does. Your anxious part might tell us about the time you weren't protected. Your angry part might share how it learned to fight for you when no one else would.
Helping your Self lead. We'll work on accessing your Self—that calm, grounded, wise part of you that can hold space for all your parts with compassion.
Unburdening through ritual. We'll create sacred ceremonies to help your parts release what they've been carrying. This might be writing a letter to your younger self and burning it under candlelight, or creating a ritual where your protective part symbolically hands its burden back to the people who hurt you.
Honoring transitions. When a part is ready to step into a new role, we mark that transformation with ritual to help your nervous system understand: "This chapter is complete. We're safe to be different now."
Creating new relationships. Instead of being hijacked by your parts, you'll learn to be in conscious relationship with them, appreciating their protection while updating their job descriptions.
One client told me: "I used to feel completely hijacked by my emotions. Now when I get triggered, I can actually pause and think, 'Okay, what part of me is freaking out right now?' and I can help that part instead of just losing my shit."
Who Benefits Most From IFS Trauma Work?
IFS is particularly powerful for:
Complex trauma survivors who feel like they have "multiple personalities" or drastically different moods
People who've tried traditional therapy but still feel controlled by their reactions
High-achievers whose perfectionist parts are running their lives
Anyone carrying religious trauma where spiritual parts were shamed or suppressed
LGBTQ+ individuals whose authentic parts had to hide for safety
Survivors of narcissistic abuse who lost touch with their authentic Self
People who feel "too sensitive" or like their emotional parts are "too much"
Spiritually gifted individuals whose intuitive parts have been dismissed or pathologized
Empaths and highly sensitive people who struggle with boundaries between their parts and others' energy
Those exploring non-traditional relationships (poly, kink, open) where different parts have different comfort levels
If you've ever felt like you're at war with yourself, IFS can help you become your own loving leader instead.
Why IFS Changes Everything
Here's what I've learned after a decade of this work (including training directly with IFS founder Richard Schwartz in Costa Rica): traditional trauma therapy tries to manage symptoms. IFS trauma work transforms your entire internal system.
Instead of trying to control your anxiety, you get curious about your anxious part and what it needs.
Instead of fighting your people-pleasing, you appreciate how hard that part has worked to keep you safe and help it find a new role.
Instead of being ashamed of your emotional reactions, you understand they're parts of you responding from old wounds that can finally heal.
Your parts aren't the problem. They're the solution that kept you alive. Now we can help them update their strategies for the life you're living now.
The Science + Soul Integration
What makes my approach different is that I don't separate the psychological from the spiritual. Your parts aren't just psychological concepts—they're energetic and spiritual realities.
Some of your parts might be carrying trauma from this lifetime. Others might be holding ancestral patterns or even past-life wounds. True healing honors all the layers of who you are.
We might use EMDR to help a part process a childhood memory, then create a ritual to help that part release what it's been carrying. We might work with your nervous system to help you feel safe in your body, then connect with your intuition to understand what your parts really need.
Because trauma healing isn't just about fixing what's broken—it's about remembering who you really are underneath all the protection.
Ready to Meet Your Parts?
If this is resonating in your bones and you're tired of being controlled by reactions you can't seem to change, I'd love to help you discover the wisdom of your internal system.
Schedule a Self Sovereign Intensive - a 2-3 hour deep-dive where we'll identify which parts are running your life and create a roadmap for your Self to lead.
Learn more about IFS Trauma Therapy - my holistic approach that blends IFS (parts work) with nervous system healing, and spiritual integration to honor your mind, body, spirit, and all your parts.
You weren't born anxious, people-pleasing, or shut down. Those are just parts of you that learned to protect you when you needed protection.
Now you can learn to lead with love instead.
Licensed Professional Counselor • Colorado, California, Texas • Therapeutic Coaching Available Worldwide • IFS Level I • Legacy Burdens Training with Richard Schwartz • EMDR Level II Trained • Virtual Sessions Only