The 6 Things Hijacking Your Self Sovereignty
And why you keep getting triggered, even after all the therapy
By Bethany Russell, MA, LPC
You've done the work. You understand your patterns. You can name your triggers and explain your childhood wounds to anyone who'll listen.
So why do you still find yourself lying awake at 3am, replaying that conversation? Why does your stomach drop when your partner needs space? Why do you second-guess decisions that should feel obvious?
Because understanding your patterns isn't the same as being free from them.
Here's what I've discovered after a decade of helping ambitious, intuitive souls reclaim their power: most people aren't stuck because they haven't healed enough. They're stuck because they don't realize they're being hijacked.
And until you identify what's stealing your sovereignty, you'll keep spinning in the same cycles—just with better vocabulary to describe them.
What Does It Mean to Be Hijacked?
Being hijacked means something else is driving your car.
Your anxious part is making decisions. Your people-pleasing part is setting boundaries. Your perfectionist part is running your business. Your inherited trauma is choosing your relationships.
Meanwhile, your authentic Self—the part of you that's wise, calm, and knows what's true—is locked in the passenger seat, watching it all unfold.
The good news? Once you know what's stealing your power, you can take back the wheel.
The 6 Hijackers That Steal Your Sovereignty
After working with hundreds of clients, I've identified six specific patterns that steal your power and keep you stuck. Most people have 2-3 of these running simultaneously (which is why surface-level solutions don't work).
HIJACKER #1: You're Blended with Parts Without Knowing It
The part that says mean things when you're hurt thinks it IS you. The part that goes silent when criticized believes it's protecting you. The part that abandons your needs to keep peace is convinced it's being loving.
What this looks like:
You think "I'm just an anxious person" instead of "I have an anxious part"
You say "I always do this" instead of "This part of me does this"
You feel guilty for having boundaries because your people-pleasing part feels selfish
You can't separate your worth from your productivity because your achiever part won't let you rest
The takeover: You're living life as your parts instead of from your Self. Your parts are running the show, and you think their reactions are your personality.
The path back: Learning to recognize when you're blended, getting curious about what your parts need, and helping your authentic Self lead with compassion.
HIJACKER #2: Your Nervous System Is Stuck in Survival Mode
Fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses kick in automatically. You're reacting from your lizard brain, not responding from your wisdom.
What this looks like:
You snap at people when you're overwhelmed (fight)
You avoid difficult conversations or shut down emotionally (flight/freeze)
You automatically say yes when you mean no (fawn)
You can't think clearly when someone's upset with you
Your body feels wired and tired at the same time
The override: Your nervous system is making decisions based on perceived threats, not actual reality. You're responding to your partner like they're a predator and your boss like they're your critical parent.
The path back: Nervous system regulation practices that help you return to calm, plus identifying your specific triggers and creating new response patterns.
HIJACKER #3: Childhood Attachment Wounds Are Running Your Adult Relationships
The part of you that learned love was conditional is still trying to earn it. The part that learned people leave is still pushing them away first.
What this looks like:
You either abandon yourself completely to maintain connection or push people away before they can hurt you
You need constant reassurance that your partner loves you, or you avoid intimacy altogether
You attract the same relationship dynamics over and over
You feel responsible for other people's emotions
You can't tell the difference between someone having a bad day and them not loving you
The infiltration: Your child self is running your adult relationships. You're responding to your current partner based on how your parents loved (or didn't love) you.
The path back: Healing attachment wounds through parts work, learning secure attachment patterns, and creating new neural pathways for healthy connection.
HIJACKER #4: You're Carrying Trauma That Isn't Even Yours
Ancestral patterns, family wounds, and legacy burdens that have been passed down through generations are living in your system like inherited ghosts.
What this looks like:
You carry fears that don't match your actual life experiences
You feel burdened by emotions that seem too big for your own story
Family patterns repeat despite your best efforts to break them
You feel responsible for healing your entire family line
Certain places, people, or situations trigger inexplicable responses
The possession: You're carrying the unresolved trauma of your ancestors in your nervous system. Their survival strategies are your subconscious programming.
The path back: Legacy burden work to identify and release what isn't yours to carry, plus honoring the wisdom your ancestors did pass down.
HIJACKER #5: You've Outsourced Your Emotional Wellbeing
You need others to be okay for you to feel okay. Their mood becomes your mood. Their approval becomes your worth.
What this looks like:
You can't relax if your partner is stressed
You take responsibility for other people's feelings
You change your behavior based on other people's reactions
You need external validation to feel good about yourself
You avoid conflict because other people's anger feels intolerable
The dependency: You've made other people responsible for your emotional state. Your inner peace depends on external circumstances staying stable.
The path back: Learning to self-soothe, setting energetic boundaries, and developing an internal source of validation and safety.
HIJACKER #6: Past Life Themes Are Seeking Resolution
Soul-level patterns that repeat across relationships and lifetimes until they're finally healed.
What this looks like:
Certain relationships feel destined (both good and challenging)
You have inexplicable talents or fears that don't match your upbringing
Life themes repeat no matter how much therapy you do
You feel a sense of "coming home" with certain people or places
You have vivid dreams or visions of other times/places
The compulsion: Your soul is trying to complete lessons and heal patterns from previous lifetimes, but your current personality doesn't understand the bigger picture.
The path back: Past life regression work, spiritual integration, and understanding your soul's journey across lifetimes.
Why Traditional Therapy Misses These Hijackers
Most therapeutic approaches focus on one or two of these patterns, and usually only the symptoms. You might work on your attachment style but ignore your nervous system. You might process childhood trauma but miss the ancestral piece. You might develop coping skills but never learn to recognize when parts are blended.
The result? You make progress in one area while staying stuck in others.
This is why you can understand your patterns intellectually but still feel controlled by them. This is why you can have breakthrough moments in therapy but find yourself back in the same cycles.
True sovereignty requires addressing all the layers where you've been compromised.
The Path to Self Sovereignty
Becoming Self Sovereign isn't about eliminating these hijackers—it's about recognizing when they're active and choosing to respond from your authentic Self instead.
When you're Self Sovereign:
You notice when a part is blended and can create space between you and the reaction
You recognize when your nervous system is activated and have tools to regulate back to calm
You can be in relationship without losing yourself or pushing others away
You carry only what's yours to carry and honor what you've inherited without being enslaved by it
Your emotional wellbeing comes from within, making you available for true intimacy
You understand your soul's journey and can respond to life's challenges with wisdom
This isn't about perfection. It's about sovereignty.
Which Hijackers Are Running Your Life?
As you read through these six patterns, you probably recognized yourself in several of them. Most people have 2-3 hijackers that are particularly active, often working together to keep you stuck.
The first step to reclaiming your sovereignty is getting honest about which patterns are running your life right now.
The second step is getting the right support to address all the layers, not just the surface symptoms.
Ready to Identify Your Hijackers?
If you're tired of being controlled by patterns that keep you spinning, I'd love to help you identify what's stealing your sovereignty and create a roadmap back to your authentic Self.
Schedule a Self Sovereign Intensive - a deep-dive session to identify which hijackers are most active in your life and develop a comprehensive plan to reclaim your power.
Learn more about Alchemy Coaching - ongoing support to address all six hijackers through IFS parts work, nervous system healing, attachment repair, legacy burden work, and spiritual integration.
Because you deserve to drive your own car.